A Modest Proposal Meets Male Modeling Spoof

As I sat down to write about A Modest Proposal, I took another look at my book. The title appears like this:

A MODEST PROPOSAL

FOR PREVENTING THE CHILDREN OF POOR PEOPLE IN IRELAND FROM BEING A BURTHEN TO THEIR PARENTS OR COUNTRY, AND FOR MAKING THEM BENEFICIAL TO THE PUBLIC.

It reminds me of the movie Zoolander (Ben Stiller movie) when Derek forms the idea and then a model of the center is presented to him, the title of the center is:

THE DEREK ZOOLANDER CENTER

FOR CHILDREN WHO CANT READ GOOD AND WANNA LEARN TO DO OTHER STUFF GOOD TOO

Not entirely relevent, just thought it was funny. I don't think that Jonathan Swift meant that to be an awkwardly long title, but it is. And obviously, even if they were in the same time period, I'm fairly certain that Mr. Swift would have nothing in common with Mr. Stiller if he could help it! (Please no one be alarmed, I'm not trying to say that Ben Stiller and Jonathan swift use the same humor techniques.)

Anyway...on to A Modest Proposal.

I had read it before, and even before that had heard of it, so I knew what to expect in the beginning which allowed me to notice some of the more subtle hints. I think that the main problem that such a piece of writing would run into is that even though it is so absurd that we cannot imagine it being a serious proposal, there are many, many absurd people out there who would miss the joke. These people would either be horrified and think Swift was serious OR nod in agreement and think Swift was serious.

One odd part of Swift's calculations is when he figures that a child just born will weigh 12 lbs and in one year increase to 28 lbs. Most babies are born under 10 lbs, I believe 6-7 is within the normal range. And those are born to well-fed modern American women. Somehow I doubt many Irish peasants in Swift's day were birthing giant babies, especially since statistically people and children are growing taller and heavier now than in the past.

Also, Swift mentions the fact that deer are growing scarce, so perhaps child-hunting could be possible. (He talks himself out of that since they would be gamey and so close to breeding age!) I just don't think it would appeal to the same hunters. Deer are quite dumb and easily shot. I think hunting people would prove to be much too difficult for most casual sportsmen. Just yesterday while walking my dog and my parents' dog, we came upon 3 deer who continued to graze and did not even care that we were within 2o feet of them. Deer hunting is not much of a challenge, most hunters sit in the woods and wait for a deer to come to them - children would not be a good substitute for hunting...unless maybe you only take the least intelligent children - plus that would be an extra incentive to score higher on the MEAP!

"Men would become as fond of their wives during the time of their pregnancy as they are now of their mares in foal, their cows in calf, their sows when they are ready to farrow; nor offer to beat or kick them (as is too frequent a practice) for fear of a miscarriage."

This paragraph struck me as particularly absurd and funny, until I began to really consider it - then it just seemed sad and true. It's sad that even in our world today, parents still beat their children, spouses still hit one another, and if it was for profit instead of love, then perhaps all the abused women and children out there would be treated at least as well as barnyard animals. Sorry for the sterrotype (but they do exist for a reason), but while working in a small town grocery store during high school, I was unfortunate enough to encounter several men who were quick to defend and protect their dog or truck or motorcycle but would spend the entire time in the store yelling at, insulting and "spanking" their kids. (Spanking is in quotes because it sounds nicer than beating and some people believe there is a difference.)

After launching into a patriotism speech (at which point you can just imagine the orchistra chiming in with the star spangled banner (I know he wasnt American, but I am -so it's what I imagine) he continues to explain that he has nothing to gain from this and merely looking out for his country and fellow countrymen. Oh and by the way - his kids are too old to qualify and his wife can have no more. Just an after-thought barely worth mentioning that the proposal cannot affect his family, just others.

Well, enjoy your weekend!

Oh- and Little Murders is one of the only movies that I've seen where it seemed totally okay for the main character to die. Also, I've been to a wedding where the minister was not much better than the one in the movie!

Okay - for real now -Go Enjoy your Weekend.